After reading multiple articles about teen sexuality and relationships in Eclipse, curiosity led me to the movie theater last weekend to see it for myself.
The scene when Bella’s dad brings up the subject of sex really caught my attention, especially given my last blog post.
There’s a lot going on in the clip, but here are the top five things about this scene that make me cringe.
- Bella’s flat-out rejects her dad’s attempt to get the conversation started, saying, “Don’t have ‘the talk’.” This might be how her character feels, but it doesn’t represent what the majority of teens think at all. Most say they want to talk to their parents about sex – they just don’t know where to start.
- Later on, she falls back on the myth that one conversation (aka “the talk”) was enough to answer all of her questions about sexuality – “Mom beat you to it, like, ten years ago.” In reality, people need different information at different times as you’re growing up. Her dad actually points this out (“You didn’t have a boyfriend ten years ago.”). He’s not trying to give her an anatomy lesson like her mom probably did; he’s concerned about birth control.
- But since he beats around the bush the whole time, this concern isn’t made clear. At one point he mumbles, “You guys are… taking precautions…?” This half-question could be about birth control, STD protection, or something else entirely. Since he’s not specific, Bella is able to give him an equally unspecific and non-useful answer (see #4).
- Not to be outdone in the vague department, Bella responds to her dad’s question by saying, “Please just don’t worry about… that.” “That”? What does “that” even mean? Bella is so busy avoiding using the real words for things like “pregnancy” or (gasp!) “sex” that she comes off as being more concerned about avoiding awkwardness than thinking about her sexual health.
- By the end, Bella and her dad have made little progress. Bella finally blurts out – “I’m a virgin,” which makes a fitting end to this confusing scene. This statement implies that virgins don’t need to think about protecting themselves (even if they, like Bella, are in a relationship where sex is a possibility). And since the conversation ends there, it also makes it seem like that’s what Bella’s dad really wanted to know. But since the definition of “virgin” can be kind of hard to pin down, this doesn’t really settle anything. If they’re not having vaginal intercourse, are they still protecting themselves from STDs? Have they talked about how long they’re waiting? Does she feel pressured to have sex?
But no one gets to think about these potentially important questions for themselves, because Bella pauses after saying this just long enough to give her dad two awkward thumbs up before running out of the room.
And then, less than a minute later, the subject is dropped with no sign of being picked up again. I guess it’s good to see a parent trying, but instead of a frank conversation, Twilight delivers stereotype after stereotype – the awkward dad, the resistant teen, the idea that “the talk” is a one-time thing. What really bothers me about this scene is that it had such potential! It would’ve been so good to see a dad talking with his daughter about sex, since we usually only see mother-daughter talks.
So, whether you’re a fan of the series or not, do yourself a favor and look somewhere else for advice on talking to your parents about sex. Twilight won’t get you through the first minute of a real conversation. Try these resources instead:
- My tips on talking to an adult about sex
- More from Teensource - Talk with your parents
- Scarleteen - "About that talk with your parents..."
Stay tuned for another installment of “Twilight & Teen Sexuality” later this week, when fellow Teensource intern ZD explores the movie’s tangled web of romance and relationship drama!