Learn the Difference Between Healthy and Abusive Relationships

Most people don’t expect their boyfriends or girlfriends to be abusive. Most people think, “I would never put up with that!” but 1 in 5 teenagers reports being physically abused by a partner. 1 in 3 women will be abused by her boyfriend at some point, and half of young teens (11-14) say they don’t know the signs of an unhealthy relationship.

So how do you recognize an unhealthy relationship?

Love is about caring, supporting and respecting your partner. In a healthy relationship, partners have equal power and respect each other’s opinions and beliefs. Abuse is about power and control. If one person has more power than the other, then the relationship is not healthy.

Look out for these signs of abuse:

• He pressures you to have sex when you are not ready or do not want to.
• She tries to get you to use alcohol and drugs when you have your doubts about it.
• He wants to control who your friends are and how you spend every minute of your day.
• She doesn’t listen to your thoughts and opinions and makes all the decisions on her own.

Abuse isn’t just physical violence.

12-35% of teens report being hit, kicked, slapped, pushed or otherwise hurt by their partners, but abuse is not just physical. Abuse can also be emotional or verbal.

Emotional abuse can include:

• Putting you down
• Telling you what to do
• Breaking your stuff
• Threatening you or your family
• Acting jealous for no reason

No one deserves to be abused. If abuse happens to you, remember that it is not your fault. You cannot control what your partner does. You can make a change-- there are people who want to help you.

Remember, if you are ever in immediate danger, dial 911.

There are hotlines that will listen to you and help you get assistance:

• The National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline
  1-866-331-9474
  1-866-331-8453 TTY
• The National Domestic Violence Hotline
  1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
• The Rape Hotline:
  1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

The TeenSource website has more articles with you can get more information.